Mr & Mrs Skywalker
by Writer Wannabe
Summary: NEW CHAPTER ADDED! Anakin and Padmé are hitting a few bumps in their marriage. What they don't know is that their significant other has a secret job... Based on Mr. & Mrs. Smith
1. Almost At First Sight

Author's Note: As Barry Manilow sings: "And I'm ready to take a chance again…"

This story is based on the movie "Mr. & Mrs. Smith". It's just a thing I had to do. It's completely plotless and nonsensical, but it's fun to give it a shot.

I don't support murder or death. This is just for fun.

Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars I wouldn't be writing fanfiction. Trust me…

Enjoy!

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"How long have you two been married?"

"Three years."

"Four," Padmé corrected politely.

"That's what I said, four," Anakin countered.

"Are you happy with your marriage?"

"Define happy," Anakin asked.

"You need the definition of happiness?" the therapist asked in disbelief.

"She is a _great_ cook," Anakin complimented emphatically.

"Oh, well…" Padmé sighed.

"How's your love life?"

"Excuse me?" Padmé asked, feeling rather awkward.

"This week. How many times have you had sex?" he specified.

"Including the weekend?" Anakin asked.

"Yes, of course," the therapist replied.

"Now, does that include Friday? Because sometimes Friday is considered the beginning of the weekend, and—"

"If you want to."

"Oh. Then once."

"On Friday," Padmé added. "But it was sort of… well, I was running late for work and Anakin insisted without even considering my feelings on the subject."

"Hey, I'm a guy, we're married, what's wrong with wanting a little intimacy?" Anakin asked defensively.

"You know how I feel about being late for work. And when it's the other way around you always storm out of the door saying, 'we can't, I'm late', and when you come home you expect me to be all over you when in fact I'm pretty tired. I have a job, too, Anakin, and it's as important as yours," she exposed her case.

"Yeah, like I need to be told again…" Anakin muttered.

"Tell me how you met."

"We were in Tacinia—"

"Tanicia," Padmé corrected.

"Right, that's what I said. It's a tropical beach in Alderaan."

-Tanicia. 3 to 4 years ago-

Anakin was having a cold drink in the bar, the hot sun hitting his back. He pressed the cold glass to his forehead hoping to cool off with lousy results. Looking around, he caught side of all the tourists lying under the sun on the beach. All of them were families and newlyweds. Anakin wondered how they could stand the heat. It had to be the hottest summer in the history of Alderaan. Even in his swimming trunks and under the shade he could've sworn he was melting.

A metallic noise caught his attention. A military company was entering the private beach holding blasters. Anakin groaned inwardly. Once a week they surveyed the vacation complexes searching for suspicious individuals that may not be here for some time in the ocean. They specially suspected solo travelers. Anakin had already been held back for more than a week the previous summer, all because he was traveling alone. He certainly didn't want to be held back again, and with this heat a week in a funky smelling cell was out of the question.

Sure enough, one of the soldiers approached him.

"Are you here alone?" he asked right out front.

"Good day to you, too," Anakin replied, knowing what he was risking with his sarcasm, but he couldn't help it.

"Are you here alone?" the soldier repeated, his voice much harsh this time. Anakin was already thinking about the hot cell with no water.

"I—"

"He's with me," a soft voice cut in. Anakin and the soldier turned to look at a beautiful young woman just a few steps away from them and approaching. Anakin didn't fail to notice her curvy figure and her two piece swimsuit. A wide scarf was wrapped around her waist but didn't keep Anakin from appreciating her shapely legs.

"There you are, honey," Anakin greeted, putting his arm around her. The soldier was still a little skeptical. "I've been looking all over for you," he continued. The mysterious woman turned to the soldier.

"I go inside to change into a dry swimsuit and he panics. He just can't live without me!" she joked, laughing heartily.

"You two are together?" the soldier asked.

"Yes, we're on our honeymoon," Anakin explained.

"May I see some ID?" Anakin and the woman stretched out their arms so the soldier could scan their identification bracelets. "Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Naberrie. You don't have the same last name," he observed.

"We just got married a week ago, she hasn't had the time to change it," Anakin explained. "You know women… always wanting to hold on to their individuality, even after they're married," he said, chuckling lightly. The soldier eyed them both searching for any odd behavior but all he found was smiles and innocent looks.

"Oh, it was a beautiful wedding. I cried throughout the entire ceremony, I completely ruined my makeup!" Padmé commented.

"No, you looked gorgeous, honey."

"Very well then," the soldier resumed. "Have a good time."

"Oh, we will…" Padmé assured. The soldier nodded and left. After making sure he was gone, Anakin took his arm from around her shoulder and leaned on the bar. Padmé did the same and had a sip of Anakin's drink.

"Thanks for that," he said.

"No sweat. I was here five months ago and they kept me for three days in a cell. Can't a girl be on vacation by herself?" she complained. Anakin laughed.

"Anakin Skywalker," he introduced himself. Padmé shook his hand.

"Padmé Naberrie."

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That's it for now, kids. Review. Please. I'm begging you.


	2. Back To Reality

Author's Note: Wow, thanks for all the reviews!

I have to warn you: several of the classic Star Wars characters will get killed during this story. I love them and I'm sure you do was well, but I'm gonna do it for the sake of the story.

Rating might change in further chapters do to extreme, completely unnecessary violence and some sassy dialogue.

This chapter is longer than the first, I hope you like it.

Enjoy!

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-Tanicia. Still 3 to 4 years go-

"So traveling solo, huh?" Padmé asked casually, leaning back on her chair.

"Yes. Again," Anakin replied, pouring more liquor in her glass. Padmé smiled.

"You're trying to get me drunk…" she accused playfully. Anakin shrugged.

"Can you blame me?" Padmé laughed and Anakin joined her, admiring her crazy, schoolgirl laugh. "So a political advisor," he commented. Padmé nodded and had another sip of her drink. "To whom?"

"Uh… Confidential."

"Really? I'll have to crack this one up if I wanna give you a surprise visit…" he implied, a teasing smile on his face. Padmé gave him an intriguing smile.

"How about you?"

"I have, uh… a security company. We offer security to all sorts of corporations, some politicians, high profile folks and such. We've been doing pretty good lately," he said.

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, Anakin," she replied. They just looked at each other in silence, relishing in each other's company. The moment was interrupted when a droid approached their table with the menu pads.

"Good evening, welcome to Tanicia Terrace. May I take your order?" he greeted. Anakin took a quick glance at the menu and gave it back to the droid.

"I'll have the biggest, bloodiest steak you can find, please."

"Very well, sir. And the lady?" the droid asked, turning to Padmé. She was carefully inspecting each and every single one of the courses offered in the menu.

"Does the Alderaani salad come with Corelian dressing or Nubian dressing?" she asked.

"You can choose between both."

"Okay, I want three quarters of Corelian dressing with just a splash of Nubian, but not on the salad, I want them on the Espian meatballs and the Tanician spaghetti. And another one of these," she said, holding up her glass. The droid processed her order while Anakin tried to keep a straight face.

"I'll be right back with your orders," the droid assured, leaving the table. Padmé met Anakin's eyes and noticed the smile he was trying to hide.

"What?"

"I like a woman who knows what she wants," he said. Padmé laughed softly.

"Oh, I wouldn't hang on to that thought for too long…"

-Courascant. 3 to 4 years ago-

"You WHAT?" Obi Wan Kenobi asked in disbelief. He watched Anakin receiving a deafening blow from the full-contact droid and understood how he could've made such a stupid thing. He was brain damaged.

"I married her!" Anakin replied, dodging a blow and attacking with one of his own. His boxing glove hit the droid on the chest, forcing it to step back.

"Why would you do something like that? You barely know this woman! She could be a maniac for all you know!" Obi Wan proceeded.

"She's amazing," he paused and hit the droid once again, "she's gorgeous and sexy and makes funny noises when she sleeps. And she's complicated and neurotic and a total control freak and she loses it when you tell her to chill out… It takes her fifteen minutes to order from the menu and she's extremely clean. She's all over the place," he dodged another blow. "She's perfect—Ow!" he winced when a fist reached him.

Obi Wan grabbed his head and started pacing around the ring. "This is crazy… Absolutely crazy, I give this thing two—no, make that one month," he predicted.

"We've been married for three," Anakin pointed, and was unable to continue when the droid pinned him to the ring and started hitting his face as if its circuits depended on it.

"I have a bad feeling about this…"

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"You did _what_?" Sabé shrieked. Padmé covered her ears and shot her a hard glance.

"I married him," Padmé repeated, putting the skirt back on the hanger.

"You barely know this guy! He could be married and have another family or—or he could be a criminal or… or a politician," Sabé feared.

"He's not. He's a big time security businessman. And he's cute and messy and dorky and he bumps into everything when it's dark… He's the most adorable thing I've ever seen," she replied as she took a shirt and placed it in front of her, checking her reflection on the mirror.

"Oh, yeah? And what does Mr. Adorable have to say about your job?" her friend reminded. Padmé glanced at her, a hint of guilt in her eyes at having to lie to her own husband.

"I told him I'm a political advisor," she confessed. Sabé couldn't help to laugh.

"But you hate politicians."

"Well, he doesn't know that, does he?"

-Courascant. 3 to four years later-

Padmé and Anakin made their way into the large walk-in closet after an exhausting session with the marriage counselor. In complete silence they opened their individual drawers and withdrew their sleeping garments.

"How do you like therapy so far?" Anakin cut in casually.

"It's okay, I guess…" Padmé said unenthusiastically, stepping out of her shoes. Anakin looked at the shoes.

"Are those new?"

"Uh-huh," came the reply. Anakin unbuttoned his shirt.

"I thought we agreed I'd get them with you," he pointed. Padmé took her jewelry off and placed it neatly in a box.

"It was an impulse, they were about to take them out" she simply explained.

"Any other impulses you'd like to share? Or not share, for that matter?" he asked bitterly. Padmé glanced at him as she unbuttoned her shirt.

"Anakin, I don't think you'd be interested in satin skirts."

"Maybe I'm interested in what's under the skirt," he suggested.

"Maybe I'm interested in some romance before you get to see what's under the skirt," she replied slyly. Anakin made a face and muttered under his breath. "Are you imitating me?" Padmé asked sharply.

"No." Just to make sure, Padmé kept her eyes on him for another couple of seconds before slipping into her nightgown. Anakin changed into his sleeping pants and turned to her. "Would you like to have dinner tomorrow?" he offered. Padmé met his eyes.

"I'd love to. Where?" she asked as they stepped into the fresher, both standing in front of individual sinks.

"Wherever you want." Anakin reached for his toothbrush and handed Padmé her moisturizing cloths.

"Thank you," she said, and proceeded to wipe off her makeup. "How about the Green Leaf? We haven't been there in a while."

"Hmm," he murmured, already brushing his teeth.

"Oh, no, we can't go tomorrow," their eyes met through the mirror. "We're having dinner at the Kellen's," she reminded. After a second Anakin blinked.

"Oh," he simply said. He spat into the sink and rinsed his mouth. "Some other time, then."

"Sure."

After washing up they made their way into the bedroom in complete silence. They mechanically pulled the covers down and slipped under the sheets, each reaching for the light switches and turning the room into a dark cavern.

It was just another night for Mr. and Mrs. Skywalker.

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"Honey, your breakfast is ready," Padmé announced from the kitchen. She closed the refrigerator and placed two bowls of fruit over the table. She then proceeded to pour coffee and juice on each glass and cup, making sure they were all served in the same amount. To top it all she put a vase with fresh flowers in the center of the table. Taking a few steps back she appreciated her work and quietly congratulated herself.

Anakin stormed into the kitchen halfway through his jacket, his shirt untucked and his boots unbuckled.

"Hey, honey," he greeted, kissing her head quickly.

"Good morning," she practically sang. Anakin nodded and sunk down his coffee in one long sip. He did the same with the juice and gulped a few pieces of fruit before heading to the parking window.

"Bye, honey," he called over his shoulder, already getting into his speeder. The window closed and he disappeared in traffic.

Padmé looked at her formerly perfect table and hated it for the mess it was now. Anakin's glass had tripped, there was fruit juice all over the surface and his mug had chipped when he had forcefully set it down on the table. Padmé was angry at her husband but also, and mostly, disappointed. They didn't have breakfast together anymore, no matter how hard she tried on making everything perfect and beautiful. She was about to give up.

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Anakin walked into the old warehouse where his office was located. He was immediately greeted by Obi Wan.

"Hey, Anakin. You've got some big messages…" he warned as he followed Anakin down the hall to his office.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. Two words: Jabba the Hutt."

"That's three words, Obi Wan," Anakin pointed out as he walked into his office, closing the door on Obi Wan's face. Obi Wan ignored the hint and walked right inside.

"I knew that. You'll have to go to Tatooine and take him out," he needlessly explained.

"I thought so," Anakin replied sarcastically. He powered up his computer and sat back on his chair.

"Remember you have that job tonight in that club in the lower levels," Obi Wan reminded. Anakin pondered on this and winced.

"Yeah, you're right. I'll have to do it before the Kellen's thing…" he said more to himself than to Obi Wan.

"Who are the bloody Kellens?"

"Neighbors. They throw a dinner party once a month for everyone in the building," Anakin explained, his mind on his computer. "Anakin Skywalker."

"Password confirmed," the computer announced. A hologram projected in front of him and he watched it.

"Dinner parties? Anakin, we're bounty hunters, we don't have time to be domestic. Soon you'll start asking Padmé for permission to breathe," Obi Wan mocked.

"You live with your mother."

"Yeah, so?"

Anakin looked down at him.

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"Hey, Padmé," Sabé greeted from behind her desk. Padmé sat on the desk across Sabé's and sighed heavily.

"Good morning, girls," she muttered, turning her datapad on and scrolling down. Sabé and Dormé exchanged knowing looks.

"Bad morning with the Mister, honey?" Dormé chided. Sabé smiled.

"You think a man would appreciate a well prepared breakfast, but no, he has to devour everything like a wookie," Padmé complained.

"So? Blow his head off," Dormé suggested. Padmé laughed for the first time in days.

"I won't lie, I've been tempted," she admitted. Dormé smiled knowingly and walked over to her desk to hand her a datapad.

"Here, the Organa job switched for tonight." Padmé looked at her, stunned.

"Tonight, why?" she demanded.

"He's leaving tomorrow. It'll be harder to track him down in Alderaan. Besides, you can get it out of the way right now, why wait?" Dormé reasoned. Padmé took the datapad, her manner unwilling.

"What's with the face? You've been looking forward to this job for months," Sabé reminded.

"I know, I know. We have the Kellens tonight."

"Right, the Kellens…" Dormé and Sabé said at the same time.

"It's fine, I'll do it before that. Meanwhile I'm tracking down my next target. You should do the same, girls," Padmé suggested, turning to her datapad. And so, another day of hard work began.

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Padmé took the casserole from the oven and placed it on the kitchen counter. The Kellens always asked her to bring her famous Nubian casserole to their dinner parties. Little did they know that Padmé hadn't cooked a day in her life. Still, she had to admit it was fun to let everyone think she had.

The front door swooshed open and she knew her husband was home.

"Hey, babe," he greeted as he approached her and kissed her head.

"Hi, honey," she replied. Anakin placed a bottle of wine on the counter and took a deep breath.

"Smells good."

"Thank you," she paused and glanced at him, "I have a little emergency in the senate." Anakin looked at her.

"We promised the Kellens—"

"I know. It won't take long," she promised. She walked away from the kitchen towards the bedroom. "I have to change first, I'm a mess."

"Okay." He opened the refrigerator in search for a snack.

"You lost your wedding band again?" Padmé said casually as she disappeared into the other room. Anakin glanced at the door to then look at his finger. He cursed under his breath and reached into his pocket for his wedding band.

A few minutes later Padmé walked out of the room wearing a long, black leather coat. She tied it around her middle as she walked into the library, knowing she would find her husband inside pouring himself a drink. And sure enough, there he was, holding a glass in his hand and looking at the carpet. On nights like this Padmé found herself irritated at how predictable her husband was.

"I'm off," she announced, letting him know she was in the room.

"Is this carpet new?" he asked, not bothering to look at her.

"Yes. Just arrived today from Naboo," she replied. "Do you like it?" Anakin traced a pattern on the carpet with his boot and moved his head from side to side, showing it neither bothered him nor drove him crazy. "We talked about this, Anakin…"

"I think it's too… geographic," he said.

"It's supposed to be, it represents the flora and fauna of my home planet."

"Okay, okay," he said defensively, not wanting to pick a fight over nothing. He turned to look at her, noticing her black coat and tall leather boots. "That's a little… urban for a dinner party, don't you think?"

"I'll change again when I return. Wish me luck," she smiled. Anakin smiled back and nodded.

"Good luck." With that, Padmé left. Anakin stood straight and alert, waiting to hear the front door swoosh. When it did, he approached a datashelf and pulled a datapad. The shelf slid to the side revealing a fully equipped wracked with all sorts of blasters, gas bomb and wave grenades.

"Hello, children," Anakin smiled, taking three blasters and a couple of wave grenades. He hid them inside his jacket and clicked the shelf back in place.

/Time to go to work…/


	3. Just Your Ordinary Marriage

A.N: Hiya, readers. Third chapter is ready.

Warning: This chapter contains plenty of unnecessary killings of our most beloved characters.

Warning 2: Review, please.

Enjoy!

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Padmé made her way into the Senatorial building, an exclusive facility reserved specially to those who worked in the senate. Stepping into the turbo lift she ran her plan in her head for the last time.

She'd been hired to take out senator Bail Organa after it was discovered he'd been stealing funds from the Inner City Budget to get a new country house. Padmé wasn't anyone to judge, she didn't waste her time on that, she just did her job and made it back home in time for supper.

The turbo lift opened and she stepped out into the apartment, where she was greeted by a large guard.

"You're late," he pointed. Padmé gave him an innocent smile and the guard smiled back. "He's waiting for you."

"Of course he is…"

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Anakin parked his speeder on the back door of the club. He stepped out and walked around the block to the main entrance.

Since the extinction of the Jedi order most Knights had turned into corrupt businessmen who used both physical and spiritual Force to explode their employees and associates. One of them was the now fat Mace Windu. Anakin had to admit his situation saddened him. How can a man go from being a powerful and respected Jedi to a drunk club owner?

Pushing the thought away, he stepped into the club. The clients were mostly low life crooks and bitter housewives. He walked further into the club, feeling the sticky floor on his boots, towards the office. He took an abandoned drink from a table and entered the office, finding non other than Ki Adi Mundi, Yoda and Sio Bibble from Naboo playing cards. The three species turned to Anakin with puzzled looks.

"What are you doing here?" Sio Bibble asked, his eyes red and puffy from the smoke and the alcohol.

"Wasssssaaaaaaaaaaa!" Yoda greeted. Anakin fought the urge to laugh at the little drunk creature and raised his glass.

"Just having a drink, looking for a nice poker game."

"Well, join us, son!" Ki Adi Mundi offered. Anakin closed the door and sat with his targets.

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The guard guided Padmé into Organa's private chambers and opened the door for him. Padmé smiled at him and walked inside. The guard watched her swaying her way into the room and shook his head.

"Man, I shoulda been a politician…"

Senator Bail Organa sat on his chair rubbing his prominent belly. He smiled when he saw the seductive woman stepping into his room. Padmé smiled back and took her coat off, revealing her tight leather corset. Organa took an appreciative look at her.

"Well, that's what I call a fashionable entrance!" he exclaimed in awe. Padmé laughed flirtatiously and confidently made her way towards the senator.

"I have something for you…" she said, her voice low and mysterious.

"I bet you do," Organa laughed, his eyes wide open. Padmé straddled his lap and looked down at him. She reached into her cleavage, Bail's eyes watching her intently.

"And I bet you wanna know what I'm hiding here," she teased. Organa chuckled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh, I think I know!" Padmé smiled knowingly.

"Think again."

Before he could process what was happening, Padmé withdrew a knife from her corset and cut his throat, her other hand flying to his mouth and covering it to muffle his scream. Bail watched her until his eyelids started feeling too heavy to keep them open.

When he gave his last breath, Padmé got off him and wiped any remnants of blood from her body. She took a small remote control unit from her boot and pressed a button. In a few seconds her speeder was on the window. Padmé opened the window and stepped on it, taking one last look at her victim.

"Men…"

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"A full house, I have," Yoda called proudly, putting his cards on the table. A symphony of groans followed his announcement and the rest of the players tossed their cards on the table. Yoda collected his winnings and laughed giddily, thinking about what he would purchase the next day.

"I think this elf is using the Force to get good cards," Sio Bibble accused.

"Why didn't I think of that?" Ki Adi Mundi wondered, rubbing and twirling his white beard.

"How about another round, guys?" Anakin offered, pulling the cards together to deal them again.

"Good, that sounds," Yoda smiled.

"All right, here we go," Anakin started dealing the cards when the door burst open. They all turned to look at the new arrival.

"Who the hell is angel face?" Mace WIndu asked, looking down at Anakin.

"This is our new friend, he's one hell of a poker player," Sio Bibble informed, tapping Anakin's shoulder.

"Oh, yeah? What's your name, goldilocks?" Mace Windu demanded. Anakin reached into his jacket.

"You can call me Mr. Blaster," he said, shooting Windu and the poker players. The bodies fell and Anakin stood to his full height, putting his weapons away. He leaned over to Yoda's seat and realized there was another deck of cards. He shook his head.

"I knew he was cheating…" He took a wave grenade and threw it over to the club. After a couple of seconds a silent explosion destroyed everything while Anakin got out through the window and made his way to his speeder, whistling merrily.

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"Anakin, Padmé, welcome!" Tato Kellen greeted. Anakin and Padmé were all smiles as they greeted their quirky neighbor.

"Hi, Tato. Where's Lina?" Padmé asked, holding the casserole up.

"Here I am," Lina greeted cheerfully. She took the casserole and looked at Padmé's dress.

"That's a lovely dress you got there, Padmé!" her annoying voice continued.

"Oh, thank you," Padmé smiled politely. While Tato guided Anakin to the rest of the guys Lina and Padmé left to the living room with the girls.

Four hours of torturous banter later, Padmé found herself on the same seat she had used since she got to the apartment, surrounded by housewives sharing recipes and new shopping stores tips. This was _so_ not the life she had hoped for when she was younger. And here she was, 26 years old, a successful bounty hunter, and talking about the new Food Heater 5000. Where was the excitement?

Anakin was having pretty much the same thoughts. This life was a cover for his true identity. He knew he had to go through dinner parties and cigar tasting if he wanted to fit into normal people's social life, but that didn't mean it bored him to no end. He made more money than any other 28 year old and yet he had to listen to Tato's loan story for the tenth time that night.

Across the room he met Padmé's eyes. He realized she too was bored, but as soon as she realized his eyes were on her, her frown turned into a smile. She waved at him and Anakin waved back, smiling forcefully.

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Anakin and Padmé stood in the turbo lift heading to their floor. Anakin looked at her from the corner of his eye and leaned back on the glass.

"You look pretty," he cut in. Padmé looked shyly at him.

"Thank you."

They still were 30 stories away from the apartment and neither could stand the tension and silence between them. Padmé looked at him and Anakin smiled.

"Guess what cologne I'm wearing?" he asked playfully. Padmé smiled.

"The one I got you for our anniversary?" Anakin nodded. "I can't smell it," she said, moving closer to him and sniffing his neck. "Hmm… Smells nice." Their eyes met. This was the closest they had been to each other in weeks.

"Yeah," he choked out. Padmé felt uncomfortable with the closeness and retook her position next to him. She hesitantly reached for his hand and held it in hers. Anakin gave it a positive squeeze. Padmé allowed herself and gentle smile. "Honey, I've been thinking about…"

"What?" Padmé asked eagerly. It was late, but maybe not too late to get some romance. To her immense disappointment romance wasn't in Anakin's mind right now.

"Well… The carpet in the library… It's not—It's not really—I don't like it," he admitted, knowing how much it would hurt her.

"Don't worry, honey. You'll get used to it," she assured, letting go of his hand. Anakin was about to protest when Padmé looked at him, "it's the second time in one night you're not wearing your wedding band." Anakin looked down at the hand Padmé had been holding and realized she was right. He reached into his pocket and put it back on.

"One of the guys asked me to help him out with his speeder," he explained. Padmé nodded.

"Good thing you didn't get grease on you. I wouldn't want you to stain my new carpet," she said, stepping out of the turbo lift. Anakin ruffled his hair in frustration and followed her, making a mental note to always wear his wedding band after doing a job. He hoped he could make it up to Padmé and maybe change her sullen mood.

"You wanna—?"

"No!" was Padmé's immediate reply.

"What's new?" Anakin muttered under his breath.

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The Therapist looked at Anakin curiously, wondering why he kept circling his wedding band with his thumb. He seemed a little on edge. Then again, nobody who wasn't on edge ever visited his office.

"You came by yourself this time. Anything you wish to talk about that you don't want Padmé to know?" he asked. Anakin looked at the therapist and could only hope Padmé was as perceptive as he was.

"See, here's the thing. I love my wife, I really do, and… uh, I guess I want her—no, I _really_ want her to be happy, right? But sometimes, she's… I just wanna…" Anakin sneered and brought his hands up, clenching them as if he was choking someone.

"That's a very graphic emotion you just manifested, Anakin."

"Check out the carpet in the library and you'll be giving me your two hands to help me, trust me on that. She's so obsessed with her home planet we have to listen to 'Soothing Sounds from the Lake Country' during dinner. Do you know what it's like to eat while you listen to birds mating on the shores of a lake? No, no you don't, it kills your appetite, trust me…" he scoffed, making himself more comfortable on the chair.

"I thought we had agreed you would be more participative at home. Padmé wasn't very happy about your detachment from every day life," the therapist pointed.

"I know, I know…" Anakin sighed gruffly. "It makes me feel bad 'cause she works so hard and all I do is… eat."

"Then maybe you should help her out," the therapist implied. Anakin's face lit with an idea.

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"Where is my dashing Miss Naboo?" Anakin called from the parking window. Padmé stepped out of the kitchen drying her hands with a towel, her expression confused.

"Are you feeling okay?" she asked, concerned her husband had suffered some kind of brain damage. Traffic could do that to people. Anakin smiled and held his hands up.

"Okay, okay, close your eyes, I have a surprise for you," he finally explained. Padmé smiled tentatively.

"Really?" she asked, sounding like an 8-year-old girl getting a pony shaak. Anakin nodded and indicated her to close her eyes. She did and Anakin painfully and with much effort carried a big box from his speeder to where Padmé stood.

"Okay," he smiled, unable to wait, "Open."

Padmé opened her eyes and saw a dome shaped package wrapped in brown paper. It was obvious Anakin had done the honors himself, and she couldn't help to smile at how hard it must have been for him to wrap a present for her.

"Come on, open it," Anakin urged, more impatient than his wife. Padmé tore the wrappings and found a droid beeping at her. She frowned and looked at Anakin, who was smiling proudly. "Nice, eh?" he nodded, congratulating himself.

"You got me a droid?" Padmé asked, trying to keep her astonishment to herself.

"Yeah!" Anakin laughed. "His name is R2-D2, I thought he could help you around with the apartment and all…" he explained, hoping the idea grew in her as much as it had grown in him. "And look, he's fully loaded, he can fly and cook and shake things and record messages and he plays 300 different tunes. _Polyphonic_," he emphasized, "and he's blue, just like my eyes, so when you look at him you'll think of me."

Padmé arched a brow. "You want me to think of you as a pile of tin?" Anakin chuckled and shook his head.

"No, I want you to think of me as the romantic and thoughtful husband I am. See? Now you can't scold at me for not helping you with the house," he paused and raised his brows suggestively, "Now where's my reward?" he asked, stepping closer to her. "I thought we could play 'getting passed the security guard', you know what I mean?" Padmé took a couple of steps back.

"You got me a _droid_?" she repeated. Only in that moment did Anakin realize Padmé wasn't as crazy for the droid as he was.

"Yeah?" he replied, as if the answer was obvious. And it was, the droid was right there. Padmé sighed and turned, making her way back into the kitchen. Anakin shrugged. "What?"

--------------------------------------------

"At first I thought it was cute, but now it's getting out of hand. You know what he got me for our first anniversary? He got me a toolbox. Guess what he got me for our second anniversary," Padmé said sarcastically, arching her brows.

"What?" the therapist asked.

"Tools."

"Well, I've noticed Anakin is very passionate about certain things. Maybe he's trying to share those things with you," the therapist offered.

"If he could focus all that passion he has for his gadgets on me things would be very different between us…" Padmé scoffed.

"What part of him attracted you when you first met? What do you see in him that keeps you motivated?" the therapist asked, truly intrigued by the woman. Padmé lowered her chin and looked at the therapist.

"Have you seen him naked?"

--------------------------------------------

Anakin sat in the library having a drink with his datapad, his feet bare out of 'respect' for Padmé's precious, wonderful, exotic, fantastic, geographic Nubian carpet. Anakin shot an angry glance at the carpet and fought the urge to spit at it, but kept it to himself. Padmé could be _very _graphic when it came to describe what she'd do to him if he ever messed up. And spitting on the carpet qualified as messing up. The punishment would definitely be castration.

Padmé stood on the doorframe and watched him. She noticed his bare feet and smiled a bittersweet half smile. No matter how many times and all different ways he could get to her nerves, Anakin always considered her feelings towards decoration. R2 followed her into the room and Anakin glanced at the droid, then at his wife, who was now standing by his chair.

"Yes?" he asked, his eyes going back to his datapad. Padmé laced her fingers in front of her, suddenly nervous.

"I've been trying to program R2 but I don't know how to plug in the memory card," she said. It was a lie. She could ensemble a droid from scratch but right now the only thing she wanted was a moment, just one moment, with her husband and maybe try to work things out.

"I thought you hated the droid," he said coldly.

"Ani…" she whispered, smiling prettily. Anakin looked up at her and sighed his defeat. He extended his hand and Padmé placed the memory card on his palm. Anakin opened a lid on R2D2 and inserted the memory card. "Did you get it?"

"Yes. Thank you, honey." Anakin leaned back on his chair and resumed reading his datapad.

"Hmm…" he mumbled. Padmé looked at him for a second and sat on the armrest, slowly sliding into the cushion next to him. Anakin shot her a strange glance. "What are you doing?"

"Spending time with my husband. What are you doing?" she teased. Anakin fought the urge to smile and Padmé laughed. "Come on, Ani…"

"I'm reading the news of the day."

"Anything interesting?" Padmé asked, touching his hair.

"Actually, yes. Unless you have something more interesting in mind…" he suggested, leaning in to kiss her neck. Padmé sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing her eyes in relief. They only got a few moments like this each week, and they would only occur when they were off each other's back. The attention his lips were paying to her neck were interrupted when she turned her head to the right.

"Ani…" she whispered, urging him to follow her eye sight. He did and found the droid still standing there and watching them. "Send him away, he's freaking me out," Padmé asked. Anakin chuckled and rubbed her back.

"Why? He's not gonna do anything. Maybe we could make a recording…" he offered, smiling suggestively. Padmé gave him a look that told plenty about her opinion on that idea and Anakin raised his hands defensively. "Okay, okay…" he turned to R2, "R2, go power down for the night."

R2 whistled and his body tilted back and worth, almost as if he was nodding and understood what was going on. Padmé couldn't help to laugh but her amusement ceased when she realized the droid wasn't going anywhere.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Oh, I forgot to finish programming him. I'll do it in the morning," he assured, already leaning in to kiss his wife, who pulled back before he could touch her.

"Whoa, what do you mean 'tomorrow'? Why not do it now?"

"I have to get it back to the store so they activate his personality chip. They don't do it until you're absolutely sure you want the droid, it's the guarantee," he explained, starting to get irritated.

"Can't you do it?" Padmé asked hopefully.

"No, I don't have the code," was his reply. Padmé stood and took his hand.

"Then let's go someplace else," she suggested, pulling Anakin to his feet. They headed for the door and slowly turned. R2 was standing right behind them. "For the mother, what is wrong with this droid?" Padmé almost screamed.

"I think it's a follower…" Anakin dreaded. When asked for an explanation he gave one: "he's gonna follow us until they activate his personality chip."

"What? Is he going to follow us to the bathroom and out of the apartment?" Padmé asked, outraged.

"I think he is… But I'll take him first thing in the morning, right before I go away," he promised. Padmé looked at him for a moment and decided to forgive him.

"All right. Just come home soon so we can talk," she said, turning and heading to the bedroom. Anakin frowned and followed her, so did R2.

"What do you mean talk?" he asked, leaning on the doorframe. Padmé glanced at him and stepped into the walk-in closet. Anakin mentally rolled his eyes and traced her steps. R2 beeped and rolled right behind him. "I thought we were having a nice moment back there."

"I know."

"And? What happened to that, what happened to 'something interesting'? 'Cause I'd like to go back to that, if you don't mind," he protested.

"I don't feel comfortable with getting intimate in front of that droid," Padmé pressed her case, shooting a glance at R2. "And I never said we were going to do anything, I was just trying to spend some time with you."

"Tease…" Anakin muttered. Padmé looked sharply at him.

"What did you call me?"

"Nothing, I said 'please.' But now that we're on the subject, why does it make you uncomfortable?"

"Oh, Anakin…" she sighed.

"What?" Anakin shrugged.

"We need to focus on us, and I can't focus with a droid following us everywhere. And I bet you'd start messing with the buttons and gadgets while we're at it."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Anakin asked.

"You're easily distracted, Anakin, you need to focus on the little details," she whispered.

"I'm not distracted!" he protested. Padmé folded her arms.

"What's our therapist's name?" she defied. Anakin wanted the ground to swallow him. He looked around nervously as if the answer was imprinted on the walls of the closet. But nothing came to him. Padmé rolled her eyes.

"Uh… Dr. Shrink?" he smiled, trying to get the same from her. Padmé sighed and withdrew her nightgown from her drawer.

"Good night, Anakin."

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Warning 3: Review. Please.


	4. Chance Meeting

"I can't stand him anymore!" Padmé exclaimed as Sabé helped her into her bulletproof jumpsuit. "Last night I actually tried to work things out, you know, have a nice little moment together, but that stupid droid kept following us everywhere and Anakin kept saying 'what's the big deal?' I swear, sometimes I wanna… Argh!" Sabé and Dormé exchanged knowing glances and handed Padmé her ammo belt.

"Are you sure you wanna do this today? You're a little worked up," Sabé commented.

"Anakin is out of town for business, today is the best day to do it," Padmé pointed. She buckled up her high boots, all the while muttering about how she had to shut down R2 in order to get out of the apartment that morning. "And I can't believe I have to wear this to the desert… I'm going to boil!"

"Padmé, you know we don't have cool suits. Though one would come in pretty handy now that you're going to Tatooine…" Dormé pointed.

"Thanks a lot, Dormé."

--------------------------------------------

"What's the fastest way to get a divorce in this planet?" Anakin mused out loud. Obi Wan glanced at him and then at the road.

"You want me to drive?" he offered.

"You can't drive," Anakin sighed.

"Yes, I can! That four-speeder crash last week? That wasn't my fault, I was—I was FLYING, I was cruising, baby" Obi Wan said defensively.

"Don't 'baby' me." Obi Wan scratched his beard and Anakin glanced at him. "And give up on the beard thing, will you? Yes, you can grow facial hair, you've made your point, now shave it," he ordered.

"Are you jealous of me because I'm a grown man who can grow facial hair?" Obi Wan puffed his chest.

"A grown man with facial hair who lives with his mother…"

"A bounty hunter who feathers his hair…" Obi Wan countered.

"For the last time, I don't feather it! The waves are natural," Anakin pressed.

"So are the highlights?"

"That's the sun."

"Right, the sun…" Obi Wan muttered. He glanced at Anakin once again and noticed his knuckles were turning white for holding the stirring wheel so hard. "She's really driving you crazy, isn't she?"

"You have no idea…"

"So? Kill her," Obi Wan shrugged. Anakin sighed loudly.

"Nah, I can't."

"Because she's a good cover, right?" Kenobi said. Anakin glanced at him and half nodded, half shrugged.

"The cover, right. Right." Obi Wan fought the urge to smile.

--------------------------------------------

Anakin got off in the terminal and Obi Wan excitedly switched to the driver's seat, glad he had been given a guy's job. Anakin leaned on the window, securing his bag around his shoulder.

"If I find one little scratch on this thing I'm going to kill you," he threatened.

"Don't worry, I have it all covered. I know exactly how this thing works," Obi Wan said, pressing a button on the board.

"No, wait!" Anakin warned. But it was too late. A blade came out from the door, cutting the side of Anakin's forearm. Anakin tried not to cry out to evade any uninvited witnesses. He shot a hard look at his friend.

"Sorry…" Obi Wan smiled sheepishly.

Anakin shook his head and paced off to the transport, tying a scarf around the cut on his arm. He gave his ticket to the security droid and took a seat on the back to avoid the other passengers and any unnecessary questions. Strangers _loved_ to start small talk during long trips, and Tatooine was two standard hours away. After this morning and last night Anakin definitely wasn't in the mood for stories.

A few minutes later the transport took off. Anakin shot a longing glance at his custom made speeder and cringed when Obi Wan had a bumpy start. Anakin looked away, unable to endure it any longer. A little girl turned on her seat and stared at him curiously, like he had goo all over his face. Anakin smiled. He had always liked children. The little girl smiled prettily at him and Anakin stuck out his tongue. The little girl turned to her mother and burst into tears. Anakin looked away and whistled to appear innocent.

Everything was peaceful until the transport made a hard right and then returned to its lane.

"Watchee where yousa going, witch!" the Gungan driver shouted out the window.

"You watch it, you Nerf Herder!" the other driver replied from her speeder. She stepped on the gas and disappeared a couple of hundred feet away from the transport. "Gungans…" Padmé muttered to herself. She was tempted to stop to see if her speeder had suffered any damage but she was already three minutes behind schedule.

Anakin leaned back on his seat and shrugged off the issue.

--------------------------------------------

Padmé had parked her speeder behind a dune and was now setting the scenario for the assignment. Jabba the Hutt would be attending the annual Boonta Eve pod race in the Boonta coliseum. In order to get there he had to fly from his palace through the desert and finally into the city. Padmé's plan was to create a bomb perimeter in the route and get him. So far she had planted 15 wave grenades and she had 5 to go. Wave grenades were discrete and guaranteed no onlookers, which gave her enough time to clear the scene and disappear without leaving any clues of her time there.

When the perimeter was finished, Padmé returned to an abandoned surveillance shack, eaten by rust and long years under the sun. It served as the perfect operation center at the moment, offering protection to her lap-pad, which contained all the codes and detonators for the grenades. Padmé checked her watch and congratulated herself with a smile. She was twenty-five minutes ahead of schedule. She wondered what she could do with the extra time and a series of possibilities flashed in her mind. She used her hand as a cap to cover her eyes from the sun.

//I could really use a tan//, she mused. Before she could entertain the idea for too long she remembered her husband. It would be awfully strange for his wife to leave home looking as white as Hoth snow and coming home with a lovely tan. She sighed in resignation. Once again, her husband was spoiling it for her.

Now that she was alone and had no one to play cynical with she could allow herself to be honest about her feelings for Anakin. Lately he seemed to annoy her more than he pleased her. She tried to think of the last time he did something selfless, but nothing came to mind. He provided a good cover for her job, but was it worth it to sacrifice her happiness for professional reasons? What kind of happiness could a bounty hunter have, anyways? She couldn't marry a regular man for romantic reasons alone; her partner would inevitably have to be part of her cover, or worse, know the truth about her job.

Padmé resigned herself to her reality and went back to work.

-----------------------------------------------

Not too far…

"Woooooooooohooooooooooo!" Anakin shrieked, dodging another dune in his Sand Speeder. //I've got to get me one of these// he thought. As stressful as his job could be it certainly had its perks, and driving through the desert in a new speeder was one of them.

Padmé heard the sound of an engine coming closer. She put her hand over her eyes and looked ahead. Sure enough, there was some idiot driving a speeder and heading straight to the bomb perimeter she'd carefully created.

"Great, just what I needed…" she muttered to herself, wondering if she should wait and see if the idiot turned or continued his course. Unfortunately, his route continued to be the same. It'd only be seconds until he reached the perimeter. Padmé reached for a blaster in her boot and aimed at the speeder. "Sorry…" She was about to pull the trigger when the speeder suddenly stopped.

Anakin got off of the speeder and unzipped his pants, whistling as he relieved himself. He checked his watch. Right on time. Jabba the Hutt's cruiser would be here anytime now.

"I can't believe this guy… Is he spelling his name or something?" Padmé wondered out loud. She turned to the right and her focus went straight back to her task. Jabba the Hutt's desert cruiser was coming. She looked back to the guy in the speeder and realized he was retrieving something from his vehicle. Something rather large that looked pretty heavy. //What in Sith's hell…?//

"Sabé? Sabé, it's Padmé. Was there anyone else assigned to this job?" Padmé asked into her comm. link. "Hello? Anybody there?" she insisted.

"Sabé, here. What's wrong, Padmé?" came the reply.

"There's some guy with a laser bazooka aiming at the desert cruiser. Do you have any information of other hunters coming to this place?"

"No, you were the only one assigned to the job. Who do you think it is?" Sabé asked, confused. Padmé realized there was no time to find answers because Jabba was getting closer and closer to the perimeter.

"I'll get back to you", she ended the call and reached for the detonator.

Anakin looked through the aim of his laser bazooka, his target locked. Only a few seconds now…


End file.
